So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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