I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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