It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize