so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
