FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
