we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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