hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Your cock deserves a montage
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
