I feel like I'm in dance class right now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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