Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
