You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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