my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
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