what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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