if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
