I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
