well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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