I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
