Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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