I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
