Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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