We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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