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I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
