I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She said her name was "party"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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