Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
