She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
