During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
