Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
