he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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