shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
