I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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