Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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