Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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