Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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