I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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