I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
