You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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