At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
