He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
