she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
