Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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