I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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