i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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