i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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