Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i think my cat just said my name.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
