Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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