I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
