im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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