Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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