Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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