Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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