I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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