too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
