I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize