It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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