She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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