a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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