i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
