I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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