if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
