You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
