I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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