So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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