He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So squirting runs in the family.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
