I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
