fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
