I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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