i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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